Animal problems

"A penguin whines about the uncontrollable problems in his life."--

"Are you here to give me treats? Or scratch my neck? Or dish up some wet food? Or give me treats and wet food and neck scratches and dry food and more treats and back scratches? Did I mention that I'm a cat? It's true. In fact, I'm a cat with numerous problems. Problems like the vacuum monster that seems to pop up once a week. Problems like the squirrell who mocks me through the window. Look, I'll be honest: I'm a bit stressed out. Like, I have...